Accra to Ouagadougou

I decided that after 4 months in the tropics, it was time to escape to Europe. Here's some of what happened on the way back to civilization.

If anyone asks me what it means to be a developing country, here is what I would say: It means that they have yet to develop ways to do anything easily. And trying to take a bus from Accra, Ghana to Ouagadougou (pronounced wa-go-do-goo) in Burkina Faso is a perfect example of this. To begin with one must go through no less than five phone numbers listed in various places to find one that works. At this point you are told that reservations can only be made in person, and as a matter of fact the person you are talking to has on idea if there are seats left. Next you are informed that there is a customer service center at a filling station just around the corner so you go there. They call the depot and inform you that yes there are tickets, but they are running out and no the customer service agent cannot reserve one for you. Then you wonder what this person in an office at a random filling station actually does for 8 hours everyday, but figure it's best just not to ask - after all, it's a state run company.

The next step is to go to the depot, it's one day before departure and the agent has already told you their are tickets available. There are, but they are in Kumasi, the next big city about five hours away. The nice lady at the depot calls them for you but the assistant answers as her boss has gone home for the day. Only he can reserve a ticket so you are advised to show up 2 hours early to get one in the morning. I later learned that they had told several guys from Burkina Faso to get there 6 hours early. On the morning of the trip, you arrive at the station early and get a ticket, as you do you observe a sign that says there will be no extra charge for putting your luggage underneath the bus so you go and spend what money you have left on food and drinks for the day (by day I mean +24 hours) long trip.

An hour after the bus was supposed to leave you go and get your bags weighed and the weight is written down on the back of the ticket which you take to an obese lady behind another ticket counter. She will print you up a bill for you luggage which you must pay before boarding. A guy I'd been sitting with had already confirmed the sign at the first ticket counter saying luggage was free of charge and so I was pretty much out of money at this point. To make an already long and painful story short, she was a real bitch about the whole thing. Telling me several times that I would have to get a later bus because I needed the equivalent of 25 cents more, then telling me that I should have the guy who weighed the luggage change the ticket, then he was out to lunch, then she started yelling at me because I didn't have enough money (all white people always have money) and then I yelled back at which point she played the race card and a Burkinabi guy stepped in and gave me the money.

At two points both ladies behind the counter were yelling at me and I was yelling back, "WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THIS!?!?!?" I think that's when the race card got pulled. And yes, I am racist. I hate African people who yell for no reason. Their deep voices make it so much worse than when anyone else does it. When the baggage was being loaded two or three guys screamed at each other for a solid ten mins, I think because one guy had a huge package that weighed next to nothing and the driver was upset about it taking to much room? Or maybe the driver tried to put it in the bus the wrong way? Or possibly the man had tried to put it in himself? Later, while unloading the bus to cross the boarder, a passenger opened one of the undercarriage doors himself and got a good verbal thrashing. Around midnight, a guy got on and was promptly abused for about ten minutes for incorrectly answering a question about his ticket.

The same guy turned out to be pretty interesting. He was a Burkinabi who worked for the private arm of the World Bank, running an energy development program in a country to the south east and I'm fairly certain he could have owned the bus he just got yelled at for boarding. Later he bought me lunch at the boarder crossing and explained that while the Ghanaian's were bad with the yelling, they were nothing compared to the Nigerians, who even the Ghanaian's thought were crazy. He couldn't give a reason for why the Burkinabi's didn't enjoy a good shouting match but I suspect it is because they speak French. I don't think it lends itself as readily verbal abusing. And unlike Ghana, which officially uses English but in reality doesn't in day-to-day life (and when the do the words spoken never make grammatical sense), the people of Burkina Faso speak French all the time. I have no idea why this is, but they also eat lots of French food - couscous, baguettes and omelets at every roadside eatery.

The actual trip to Ouagadougou was hellish. In addition to the coach bus lacking a bathroom, the driver turned out to be a bully, yelling at passengers, stopping every hour or two so he could get out and do whatever it was the he needed to, and driving slow. Slow driving in a developing country is the only thing more dangerous than driving too fast. Partly because people risk their lives to pass you and partly because it makes the passengers want to beat you into a bloody pulp and leave you on a roadside to be devoured by whatever death carrying bugs, worms and mammals happen to be in the area. At one point where the road disappeared and we were forced to maneuver through an obstacle course of potholes, we did a Ghanaian-style reenactment of the opening to the movie Office Space, in which an old lady with a walker is moving faster then the rush hour traffic. In this case it was two teens jogging (slowly) along the deserted road while we bumped our way towards pavement.